A Human Movement
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
thom asked that i post on the blog an email i wrote in reply to one of his, and i append his message for context. the worry is that our discourse has grown lazy. since the four of us are physical entities with individual intellectual/cultural imperatives, with varying elements of the material and spiritual, our exchanges are most resonant when these imperatives dovetail with one another. the following textual exchange came about after i noticed that emails between nick thom and myself had grown fewer and more anemic, and i attempted to prompt an exchange on the basis of our shared basketball interest that was once so knew but has now grown so tired.....

To tell you the truth, in the last few days -- I have just been hit with some new beauty, and sort of fell out of the basketball routine -- I am busy thinking about what to do with life -- and being inspired by some new work/thought --- and with all my injuries I just decided to not pay so much attention to the hoops...

I know this will really hurt your feelings scott, i know, i am sorry,

I still really like the bball -- it is just that I opening up to some new frontiers of culture activity and the basketball to me has always represented a certain, closing, if you will --- you know -- like a way to ignore things but still feel fantastic --

I like the basketball -- but just have to stop the 24-hour NBA information loading sessions -- and need to become more of laid back fan.

also.... and I KNOW Nick is feeling this, but

we got the division playoffs coming up and I want to see my Pats come thru and win another Super Bowl, if they can stop Payton Manning - then the championship is THEIRS!!!

yes, i understand. please think not of my feelings, as regards the bball, because i care most about the intercommunication amongst us and the sharing of ideas and the chasing of revelations. if your pursuits are highminded, and cultural, who am i to detract from the splendorous openness of vistas that are assuredly opening up to you in the learning spaces of your mind? i'll tell you, that i am no one, save a brother who exists for you only insofar as you conceive and qualify my existence as an exchange of information between brothers. that's the web of sociability, of brotherhood.

brother krapes would surely agree, as he is half a coast's distance from our locale, and the only means of sharing and partaking of his experience is telecommunicative, which is to say the interaction of his textual representation via these internet channels. it's abstract. it's nick and not nick. it's me and not me. it's thom and not thom.

shit brother, whatever works. i just wish to maintain an openness amongst us, basketball or no basketball, sports crutch or no sports crutch. the fascination with basketball was for me a surprising but not altogether unforeseeable turn. despite the fact that i've always had some interest in sports, especially in the post-season/playoffs period, i had never really bound myself to a season and really looked at all the games and teams and general goings-on.

i discovered that sport is really a valuable crutch to be had year round, a glue that helps cement male friendships, providing something to contemplate other than work neuroses and girls and other sundry modern hangups that debilitate and age the soul, rather than simply a meatheaded pursuit.

but at the same time, i fear that while we enjoyed it, and relished basketball as a jumble of wild cultural and acultural significations (your *clocks*, thom), we have forgotten that we can speak and meditate upon so much else? can it be that we've grown unaccustomed to speaking on matters outside of sport -- indeed, can it be that we've come to expect little else from one another?

because if so, that is a sadness amongst friends. that is how cultural relationships between brothers atrophy, and i always appreciated counting you two among the more enlightened chaps i had the pleasure of sharing ideas and experiences with. indeed, if this is my lot, i should entertain with full force a breaking through of the envelope on the level of, say, nick, or on the level of what thom might presently be conceiving.

i dislike that most of my year is spent either frigid with unfriendly cold or desiccated and miserable in a sweltering heat that excites the latent noxious substances of this city. the in-between seasons are well enough, but so much more so in the bucolic countryside. i intend eventually to get closer to the living earth; i feel inexorably cut off from it in this vast urban morass. i think a move to the west coast is a possibility in a year or so.

but for now i'm left to carve from this situation a meaning greater than my means. i verge on the precipice of existentialism while remaining as positive and spiritually secure as our troubled times allow, all the while envisioning some future with more promise and more to show for myself, intellectually and spiritually, than the present.

such is the project. but i do want to disregard convention for just one, maybe two moments, and escape to the beach or some seaside hamlet and focus on my organismic imperatives, as a cultivation of my bodysoul. a most sincere desire of mine. in time.

so that's fine. no more basketball then. i'm still contending for a championship, but i should thrust myself out of this web of escape.


i'll now note that i think josh is a cool brother with thoughts all his own, that i would gladly partake in. we should take in events and knock heads sometime, maybe over a meal or a drink. i believe one of the original purposes of this blog was to arrange propitious meetings on interesting grounds. i think that's still a cool purpose. and i also agree that the colors might be toned down a little, for the sake of the eyes.

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